Hope for Hammy

After almost 5 years of HOPING and praying for another child, we were shocked when we finally saw those double pink lines. We tried to be quick and creative when telling the Trio and our friends. I carved out a large pumpkin and placed a small pumpkin inside it. When I asked the Trio what it meant, they responded, "it's the Batcave!"

Once they finally figured it out, JG wasn't so happy about losing her position as the "baby." She cried "kick the baby out" for 2 hours before she decided it was a good thing and became excited. We let JG choose the name for the baby while in utero. (CJ did this when I was pregnant with JG and he chose "trash truck.") Since she loves sharks, she named the baby "Hammy," which of course is short for "Hammerhead." Now JG sings, talks to, and kisses my belly all day long.

I started having a lot of pain and spotting right away. After jumping through hoops with my insurance, I was finally able to get in to the Dr. He thought it sounded like an ectopic pregnancy, so pulled in the bedside ultrasound. Thankfully we saw Hammy, right where he should be, with a strong heartbeat. However, we also saw a few large cysts and an infection. A week of antibiotics and all should be clear...so we thought.

A week of horrible side effects from the antibiotics and I was back in to the Dr. The infection did not get better on antibiotics, in fact it got worse. Dr ordered another week of antibiotics. Dr could tell I wasn't feeling great and decided to cheer me up by pulling out the Doppler so I could hear Hammy's heartbeat. 5 minutes and no heartbeat. He sent his MA to go get the bedside ultrasound. As I lay there for another 5 minutes, I clung to HOPE that Hammy would be ok and pushed away the feelings of déjà Vu of when I lost Aaron (my first pregnancy). Thankfully we saw Hammy and a strong heartbeat. We also saw that one cyst grew and another ruptured, leaving "debris" all over, which is a cause for concern. Due to these complications, my age, and my pregnancy history (miscarriage and preterm babies), Dr decided to refer me to a Perinatologist. He also sent me for an "actual" ultrasound.

 The Trio enjoyed seeing Hammy through the ultrasound. CJ, who is very protective of me, stood by me, holding my hand, asking if I was ok and if it hurt (thankfully it was an abdominal ultrasound!). When we finished, the ultrasound tech told me to wait while she went to talk to my dr. After 15 minutes she came back. She told me that I had a large sub chorionic hemorrhage. I had this with JG as well, which caused a lot of bleeding and being put on bed rest at about this same time (11 weeks). However, the one with JG was smaller, and I was younger. The concern now is that my chances of miscarriage are adding up (history, age, cysts, infection, and hemorrhage). Dr said no more exercise and to come in when the bleeding starts (notice, not "if," but "when"). I am of course, willing to give up exercise to give Hammy the best chance possible. But I will admit, I am scared. It's not just about the weight gain. Exercise makes me happy. Starting my day at the gym sets the tone for my whole day. I dealt with severe depression when I was on bedrest with JG. I want to be able to take the Trio out and make fun memories before we are home-bound (which will be their summer vacation). Being depressed and stressed is not going to help this pregnancy.

 Right now we are holding out HOPE that Hammy will be ok. That I will carry him to full term and that in June these problems will be a distant memory. We greatly appreciate prayers!